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Many young adults not prepared for relationships

<p>Jarvis Howard, 24, paints a live painting during the Healthy Relationships Fair. Howard said he wanted to stay with the theme of the fair, so he drew a penguin since they don't fly and neither does sexual assault.&nbsp;</p>
Jarvis Howard, 24, paints a live painting during the Healthy Relationships Fair. Howard said he wanted to stay with the theme of the fair, so he drew a penguin since they don't fly and neither does sexual assault. 

The University of Memphis Office of Institutional Equity hosted the Healthy Relationships Fair to promote aspects of healthy relationships and safe, and consensual sex April 17 at the Students Activities Plaza.

The fair had 20 community and campus partnerships, like OUTMemphis and the U of M Department of Psychology, that engaged students through games and activities.

Victoria Jones, a mental health counselor at the U of M counseling center, said one aspect of a healthy relationship is commitment.

“You can’t have a relationship if both people aren’t committed to it,” Jones said. “ I (also) think one of the biggest things is communication.” 

Jones also said a relationship has to be “balanced.” 

“Knowing there’s a ‘push and pull’ in a relationship, so you get a little and you give a little,” Jones said. “Mutual respect is a big one.”  

Anxiety, insecurity and jealousy are just some of the many possible signs of an unhealthy relationship. Although it is normal for relationships to have ups and downs, many young people struggle to develop healthy relationships, according to a 2017 Harvard University report.

The Harvard report found a large number of teens and young adults are unprepared for caring and long-lasting romantic relationships but are anxious to develop them, and 70 percent of those surveyed said they wished they received more information from their parents about emotional aspects of romantic relationships.

Courtney Harrough, the founder and president of Safety Net, a student organization on campus that aims to provide peer-to-peer support for students who have survived sexual assault, said one should take advantage of their resources to make sure all aspects of their relationship are healthy.

“A lot of times people turn to the internet for resources on how to have a healthy relationship,” Harrough said. “Sometimes going to your friends or people that you trust, like a guidance counselor, a teacher or even a community resource, is really beneficial.”

Harrough said a healthy relationship is based on trust, open communication and also a level of consent.

“Consent doesn’t always mean sexual,” Harroguh said. “It can also mean, ‘Do you like the way I’m acting in this relationship?’ or ‘Am I supporting your needs?’ I feel like that’s a healthy relationship.”

In addition to what makes a healthy relationship, Harrough said there are warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.

“I think a warning sign is if both partners’ needs aren’t being met,” Harrough said.  “So if someone is neglected or if you don’t feel safe and if you don’t feel happy when you are with someone, I know that relationships aren’t perfect, but if it is continually uncomfortable, that’s probably a warning sign you need you reach out for help or readjust.”

Detris Whitten, an intern at CHOICES Memphis Center for Reproductive Health, said it is important that a person has themselves figured out before getting into a relationship.

“I think it begins with you,” Whitten said. “If you’re a healthy person, your self-esteem is where it needs to be and you’re functioning on a level that you should be, I think that helps put you in a healthy relationship. You attract healthy people.”

Whitten said it is also important to feel comfortable being oneself. 

“I think it’s when you feel free to be yourself in a relationship, that makes it open and honest,” Whitten said.

Jarvis Howard, 24, paints a live painting during the Healthy Relationships Fair. Howard said he wanted to stay with the theme of the fair, so he drew a penguin since they don't fly and neither does sexual assault. 

Students take pictures in a Selfie Memphis photo booth at the Healthy Relationships Fair on April 17. 

The University of Memphis Office of Institutional Equity presented a Healthy Relationships Fair to promote aspects of healthy relationships and safe and consensual sex April 17 on the Students Activities Plaza. Twenty community and campus partnerships, like OUTMemphis and the U of M Department of Psychology, engaged students through games and activities.

Attendees play a game where they decide if a song is consensual or non-consensual. A DJ played songs like "Drunk in Love" and "Blurred Lines" at the Healthy Relationships on April 17 on the Students Activities Plaza.


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