So this is it, my last column.
I didn't think this day would ever get here. I thought I would be mired in Gen. Ed. classes the rest of my life, but here I am at the end of the college road, about to move on to the place called adulthood.
This one is for the science classes I will never need, especially the labs. My worst grades at The University of Memphis came in those labs. Go figure.
I am about to embark into the world of sports journalism and golly Bill (thank you, Nikki Bussey), the job market is not too promising. What makes matters worse is that we happen to be in a none-too-steady economy right now. I am leaving the college life on a wing and a prayer, hoping I'm not living at home for the next few years.
I asked my buddy Joel Frey, author of Two Sides of a Cypress Wall, what he had to say to the class of 2008 concerning our prospects in today's economy. Frey graduated from Middle Tennessee State University with a degree in journalism, and his trials and tribulations as he struggled to find a job are well-documented in his book.
"The one piece of advice I would give to college graduates is to be proactive," he said. "Success finds those who don't sit around on their butts waiting for something to happen."
With that being said, I can cross "winning the lottery" off my list of ways to make a living. Hey, a guy can dream. But as my former psychology professor Dr. Dwyer once told an auditorium full of students, the lottery is a "tax on stupidity." I won't be stupid. No lotto tickets for me.
Enough worrying about the future, because as the Bible says, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own." Thank you, Matthew. Instead, I will focus on the good, like staying up until three in the morning, playing Halo with my roommate or sitting at Gibson's Donuts to get away from studying.
Speaking of studying, as much as I despise late-night cramming sessions, the third floor of library in particular will always have a place in my heart. It was my second home this past semester. I'll leave the key at the front desk.
I'll never forget losing to a girl in a boneless wings competition at UAB or the time Shawn Taggart gave me his ankle wrap in the locker room after a game. I love you, man.
I am also on my fifth student ID. I thought I lost the first one, only to find it in my desk a day later. I had the second one stolen from the gym. I threw the third in the trash and dropped the fourth one outside of South Hall only to have it returned to me after I had purchased number five. You better believe I'm holding on to that thing as long as I can. I'm going to be milking student discounts until I no longer look like I'm 16. I don't see that happening anytime soon, so I'm good to go for at least another five years.
These are the reasons I am focusing on today and not tomorrow. I'm reflecting instead of freaking out. I'm going pro. I just hope I get drafted. My first contract - about $25,000 a year...hopefully. That's right, $25,000 if I get hired. I'm going to be rich, ladies.
The purpose of this last column was to try and leave everyone with some cliché statement about moving on into the world of adulthood, but that would be too, well, cliché.
In my best effort not to use an oft-repeated phrase, here's to getting out of Conference USA, an on-campus stadium and success to those fortunate enough to have graduated from a university.
I hope you've had fun, but now it's on to the real world. No more homework or English papers. No more library, overpriced cafeteria food and paying increases in tuition every year. Now, we can make money off our education.
Adios, college. Hello, real world. See you when I'm a grad assistant in January when I don't have a job.
