Guys, don’t feel bad if your girlfriend calls it quits after the first family dinner.
More than likely, her mom’s just not that into you.
Mothers have more years of experience with men than their daughters. Therefore, many young women value their moms’ opinions about their love lives. But for some, it seems to be law.
“If my mother isn’t cool with the guy that I’m with then he’s gone,” Raven Edwards, a nursing major, said. “She knows what’s best for me, and I trust her judgement.”
According to an Associated Press poll, 6 out of 10 women believe that approval from mom is “extremely” important.
Four in 10 young women said they would consider breaking up with someone who their mother doesn’t like.
Sixteen percent said they have actually called it quits with a person for that reason.
“There have been so many times where I dated men and ignored my mother’s disapproval,” Ciara Shipp, a graduate student, said. “Looking back, I see how my mother was right about those guys.”
She said she once dated a guy for two years.
At the time, he didn’t work or go to school.
Shipp said he was a “thug” and stayed in the streets.
Her mother would always tell her that she could do so much better. However, Shipp chose not to listen.
Instead, she let what she thought was love blind her. The relationship did not last, and she’s glad it didn’t.
“I was just young and dumb,” she said.
Single mother Gloria Smith said a mom is supposed to help guide her daughter, not determine where she goes and with whom.
“Kids are going to do what they want anyways,” Smith said. “They may not always be willing to learn from their parent, but life will sure teach them.”
She said it’s important for a child to experience life on his or her own terms.
She would have never truly learned about herself, had her mom made all of her choices for her.
Cheryl Lewis, a mother of two, said her sons are to never bring home girls that she doesn’t approve of.
“It’s all about respect,” Lewis said. “I’m a woman and I know how girls think, so it only makes sense for my boys to okay a girl with me before it gets too deep.”
The AP poll shows that half of men under 30 said mom’s approval is extremely important when a relationship gets serious.
“My mom is my world, and she would never try to steer me wrong,” Dre Ellet, who is currently in a relationship, said. “Things just wouldn’t feel right with me and my girl if my mom didn’t like her.”
To the contrary, Amber Brown, a junior accounting major, said she could not care less about what her mom thinks of who she dates.
“I’m not going to let my mother’s opinion run my life. Her opinion is rooted from her own experiences with men, not mine,” she said.
Her mother doesn’t like her boyfriend because he had a child with another young woman.
Brown, on the other hand, has no children. Although her partner has a baby, she’s not the type to run from a difficult situation, she said. In fact, she said, she is truly happy, not only because of the person she’s with, but also because it was the choice that she made.
“I have to experience life for myself,” Brown said. “What’s the point of giving me life if I can’t live it?”
