“’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” said British poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson. Some may disagree with him.
Breakups can be a traumatic time in our lives. It can sometimes lead to heartbreak, depression and even suicide. Other times, breakups may lead to a moment of grief that can help them bounce back good as new. The process of surviving breakups varies with each person.
Rico Johnson, a University of Memphis student, shared his experience about his most recent breakup with his ex-girlfriend who he was only with for a short time after learning her dark secret.
“I actually really liked this girl, and we would go out sparingly,” Johnson said. “Soon it turned into going out almost every day, and she even agreed to be my girlfriend. She called me a week after we had been together and told me that she already had a boyfriend.”
Johnson was hurt for a while after being told the truth, but he was also relieved that she decided not to string him along forever.
“That situation doesn’t hurt me anymore, but I decided to step back from relationships for about a month,” Johnson said. “I can say that I bounced back because it never turned into anything too serious.”
Jada Williams, a communication major and psychology minor at the UofM, was involved in a serious relationship that didn’t end so well, but she bounced back in a surprising way.
“My boyfriend and I broke up after going to separate universities because we thought the relationship would be harder with distance,” Williams said. “I took some time away from him because I was extremely hurt. But after some time, we came together, talked it out and currently, we are back together.”
Williams said she believes the relationship with her boyfriend is meant to be and there will probably be no end to it.
Because all love stories won’t end up like Williams’, advice is good for others who are having a hard time with a breakup.
The University of Memphis has a counseling center located in Wilder Tower in room 214 that offers free counseling to students who are currently enrolled.
David Deason is one of the counseling psychologists at the counseling center. His duties are to supervise counselors in training, run support programs across campus and see students who need emotional−psychological support.
“I normalize discomfort they (students) are going through,” Deason said. “I help them understand the process and the stages of grief — denial, shock, anger, depression and acceptance. If they seem to be kind of stuck in grief, I help them kind of explore what the meaning of this loss meant for them.”
Deason has helped several students get over breakups and heartbreak, but he also admits that some do not.
“I can’t make change happen — my job is to point,” Deason said. “I’m kind of like a trainer. A trainer can tell you here are good things for you to do to change your goals, but then it’s up to the person.”