Mid-South native pens book on post-college life

All good things must come to an end, and like it or not, that means college will, too. Trading the laid-back lifestyle many students enjoy for a full workweek is frightening for some.

Joel Frey, a native of the Memphis area, felt the same way when he graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1996. He had a difficult time giving up the college lifestyle, and decided to write a book, Two Sides of a Cypress Wall, about his experiences in the real world after moving on from college.

"Part of growing up is figuring out who you are and, more importantly, they are figuring out where they want to go," Frey said. "That's the kind of view I hope people can take from the book."

His book, which can be purchased at JoelFrey.com, chronicles his adventures with alcohol, women, living in the dorms and making the transition from college life to adult life. He said his main purpose in writing the book was to get people to relate to the experiences he had making that transition, and if people relate, make them feel better about their new situation.

There are various stories in the book detailing nights on the Highland strip, the reaction after Memphis' football victory over the University of Tennessee in 1996 and trips back and forth between Memphis to Murfreesboro to relive his college days.

Frey, 33, said the hardest part was telling his story in a way that would relate to his target audience of college graduates or people in their mid-20s, an audience that is 10 years younger than him.

"That time in my life wasn't that long ago, and you find yourself thinking about college and thinking about still wanting to be in college even at my age," he said. "You never really lose sight of that amazing time in your life."

Frey graduated with a degree in journalism. He worked various odd jobs his first year away from school, and still lived with his parents because he could not afford to move out. He worked at FedEx and a hotel before getting a full-time position at Hardwoods Monthly.

During this time, Frey said he partied too much. In an effort to make up for this, he is planning on donating 50 cents of every copy sold to Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

"I had some ups-and-downs, with drinking especially. I was a bad social drinker," he said. "People are careless with their drinking and they get away with it. Most of us get away with it, and I'm so blessed that I did."

His book is written in journal format, which he was able to accomplish by keeping old ticket stubs and pictures with friends. The book took him nearly three years to complete. Putting those memories together has helped him keep in touch with friends he had not talked to in years.

"It's just fun for them to be associated with the project," he said. "It helped me reconnect with a lot of them, too."

Frey made his publication process a family and friends affair. His father edited the book, his sister proofread and a cousin designed the cover. A friend from high school designed the Web site, while a friend's father helped him print the book. Without them, Frey said he is not sure he would have gotten the book published.

"It's almost like forming a band in a way," he said. "They feel involved in the project, and that's really the reason it came out so nice."

Frey said looking back on that time of his life brings fond memories, and he hopes relaying his memories to college students will make them realize college is the best time of their lives. He said it is important to enjoy the experience and be with friends.

One lesson he said he hopes his readers take to heart is to be careful while you are having fun, because drinking can cause problems if people are not cautious.

"Think about your actions and the consequences," he said. "When you are 33 and you look back to when you were 22, you just shake your head and think 'Wow. That was really stupid.'"

Frey said he hopes his book can serve as a comfort to those who are fresh out of college, and to reassure them they are not the only ones who have a hard time finding a job or getting started with life.

"If you are sort of at a point where it's like 'What now?', then I think you might get something from it," he said. "I don't profess to have answers, but I think this is something you can relate to."

You can purchase Two Sides of a Cypress Wall at JoelFrey.com.