Violence and verbal assault

A dancer since the age of 4 and a budding actor, the University of Memphis senior said he always expected to catch a lot of flak for his choices, both on and off the stage.

The National Education Association estimates that more than 160,000 students stay home every day from school because of bullying. For McCollum, that kind of negative behavior didn't stop on the playground. It's something he still deals with on a daily basis.

The theater major said he found a way to express himself safely that didn't go with the norm of 'jock' or 'cheerleader,' and though he said it did give him a tough skin, he wishes the bullying wasn't something he had to deal with.

"At age 4, I was getting made fun of by the girls in my own dance class," he said, blaming part of that on being a heavy-set child. "But then I got better. I was cast as the lead in 'Godspell' in 7th grade, which was great for me, but also sort of expensive. It cost me a lot on the popularity ladder."

Former U of M student Marcus Marqui Somerville said he never knew why bullies chose to target him.

A black man fluent in Spanish and Arabic, Somerville described himself as an "ethnically diverse kid" who didn't always have the easiest time in Memphis public schools.

"Bullying was a huge part of my childhood," he said. "I had to figure a way how to deal with them. Conversation didn't work, so we would move to a different place, but that never solved my problems either."

Somerville, now 26, said he learned to engage those people by addressing the problems directly. More often than not, he said, the kids taunting him couldn't come up with a rational reason for their behavior.

"It took me a while in a setting to be able to say, 'I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I didn't know what made them angry. Was it something I said or did?' And then one day I got it," he said. "You don't have to do anything. Some people are just going to act like that because they don't know what else to do. Being mean is all they know."

Now, as a new father, Somerville said he believes he'll be better equipped to pick up on warning signs that his children could face in the future.

Like Somerville and McCollum, other U of M students said the discrimination they faced was often based on little more than a hastily perceived outward appearance.

Adam Gammons, French and graphic design double major, said people have rarely ever been malicious, but they didn't go out of their way to be kind to him when they knew he was gay.

Recently, Gammons was passing through a parking lot walking from his class to his car when an older model pickup truck drove in front of him.

"There were two guys in the truck, and as they drove past, one of them yelled, 'Homo!'" he said. "I kept walking like nothing happened because, as far as I was concerned, there was no meaning in that comment at all - just ignorance."

A group of teenagers used Facebook to get the word out that Nov. 20, according to their plan, would be "Kick a Ginger Day," at their Southern California middle school. Although only three have been arrested so far, as many as eight students are suspected of having kicked and punched seven red-haired students.

Dan Olweus, creator of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, said "a person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."

His program suggests nearly one in five students in the average American classroom is experiencing bullying in some way. The rest of the students, or bystanders, are also affected by the bullying while the overall climate of the school and community suffers as well.

National Youth Violence Prevention and Resource Center reported last year that almost 30 percent of youth in the United States, more than 5.7 million total, are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying or both.

In 2001, Congress enacted The Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act as part of the No Child Left Behind Act to provide federal support to promote school safety, but the act does not specifically address bullying and harassment in schools.

Caitlin Nolan, a student from Oak Ridge, Tenn., took on star-status in 2005 when, as a 15-year-old high school freshman, she helped author State Senate Bill 1621, which prohibits bullying in all of Tennessee's 136 school districts.

"Being bullied is a constant state of fear," Nolan told ABCNews that year. "You can't go to normal places that you would go, you can't go to the supermarket, fear of going to the movies on a Friday night, fear to go out to eat, you can't go to the mall, but most of all - a fear to go to school."

She said she was bullied for more than two years in middle school, eventually becoming so intimidated that it began to affect her grades.

Bullying, a form of harassment, can carry over into social situations as well. Sophomore hospitality and business management major Andrew Riley said, in a party atmosphere, a fair amount of well-intentioned ribbing is not only expected, it's rewarded.

"I like to be competitive and get the edge on the other guy, so I might talk a little to get in his head," he said. "I don't play games to lose, so I do whatever I can to win. When you're in the middle of playing, you want to feel good, and you can't help it.

Riley said he's been put in difficult situations, one resulting in the expulsion of a man from a local pub, Fox & Hound, when he wouldn't pay up after betting Riley up to $80 on what began as a friendly game of pool.

"He started crying to me about how he had just gotten a divorce and had no money. Then he tried to fight me," Riley said. "Eventually the security officers had to drag him out. Sometimes that happens. If you were manager of the Fox & Hound or some other place, would you make trash-talking illegal? No. You can't throw somebody out just because of something they say when they're playing a game."